I am a DTV tech support agent. My job is stressful. I was linked this page by a fellow agent, and after sharing some laughs, I decided to point out the inaccuracies.
1. "Directv charged my credit card without my permission for something!"
- ***. We are not all-knowing, we don't have access to your financial information unless you give it to us. When we take said information, we are required to read a script stating that card information is kept on file and will be charged in the event of unpaid cancellation fees, non-returned equipment, and so on. It's also in your contract, you know that thing you signed but didn't read.
2. "My service hasn't been working for weeks!"
- Why didn't you call us weeks ago, ***? That's what tech support is for. Did you think we'd like, just know it wasn't working for Joe Blow over in Tardsville, Tennessee?
3. "Customer service is rude and unhelpful!"
- Only when you are rude. Or even worse, rude and ***. Roughly half of my calls every day are *** mad at me because their TV says 'No Signal' on it. No, not 'Searching for Satellite Signal', but just 'No Signal'. How the *** do so many people not know what an input button is? Learn to operate your TV, ***
4. "My bills go up without warning!"
- Never. Unless you didn't read your contract, then yeah since you had no *** idea I guess I can see how you're surprised. Protip: read your contracts, follow directions. If it says 'Mail this thing in so you can begin receiving your rebate' that doesn't mean leave it stuck to your fridge, it means mail it the *** in. If it says 'this recurring credit is good for 3 / 6 / 12 months' then that's how long it's good for. If you're told 'This is only free for 3 months then it goes to regular price' then guess what, after 3 months it's not free anymore. Is paying attention that difficult?
5. "Viacomm / Pac12 / herpderpcomplaints"
- Viacomm and Pac12 are greedy ***. As much as you people *** about your bills, you should really care about this so listen the *** up: Imagine if you had to pay for HBO and Showtime whether you wanted those channels or not. Imagine if you had to pay for the Playboy channel whether you wanted it or not. Well, if the folks at Viacomm or Pac have their way, everyone that has DTV will have to pay for their *** channels whether they want it or not. Guess what people, most of the country doesn't give two *** about the Oregon Ducks and doesn't want to pay for it. DTV is / has been in negotiations with these companies to allow folks that actually want that programming to be able to add it on without stiffing the millions that don't. You're not the only person in the world that watches TV, get off your pedestal.
6. "DTV representatives lied and promised me things that I can't have!"
- No. You just bitched and moaned and assumed the quiet breathing on the other end of the phone was us agreeing with you, when really we're just taking a breath to calm down and keep from telling you how *** *** you are for expecting a free service call after you knocked your dish off the roof.
7. "Why should I have to pay for service calls? It's DTV's *** equipment!"
- Our *** equipment was installed in perfect working order. If you're too careless to take care of it, or too *** to pay attention to what cables look like, or too shortsighted to have service call coverage when you know *** well that you live in an area that has constant storms and high winds... I guess I'm just too tired of your *** excuses to care.
8. "I pay blahblahblah dollars a month just to get locals, it's so not worth it!"
- If we're able to get locals in your area, you can get on the family plan (which is like cheaper than *** cable) and watch locals. You have to know how to read though, I can see how that's a challenge for you.
9. "DTV renewed my contract without telling me!"
- BWAHAHA. Seriously? Any time a contract is made, it takes 10 minutes and we have to repeat the terms several times. It's a script. If we don't do it we get fired immediately. And after we're done doing it, we have to transfer you to a third-party verifier who tells you all the same *** over again, just to make sure it sunk into that spongy head of yours. Pay the *** attention sometime, you might be surprised less.
10. "DTV stiffed me and won't cancel my contract due to >insert valid reason here
Product or Service Mentioned: Directv Tv Service.